Toby pees on every shrub, mailbox, electrical box, and anywhere else he wants to mark his territory and how I am like him

The family that I live with has a boxer named Toby. He has these ridiculously adorable and sad droopy eyes and jowls that hang down to the ground. I've been watching him since the fam is out of town and I've started taking him on very long walks in the morning (it's mostly selfish because I need to work out but I think Toby needs to get out, seeing as my arms are sore from him yanking me as hard as he possibly can because he's so thrilled to be out of the house). It's interesting how he doesn't recognize the word "crate" when he has to go into his crate in the morning, but when I say the word "walk," (or anything that rhymes with that, really) he looks at me, his ears perk up, his eyes look a little bit less sad, and his movements are stiff and excited and freak-out-ish. So, yesterday morning on our long walk, I started to try to feel a little poetic (because I love drama...speaking of, have you heard Brittney's pregnant again?) and so I focused on Toby and what similarities me, grown Christian woman actively pursuing God and learning about myself in this world and the world to come, and him, 3 year old skinny boxer (I'm telling you, my mind is a big broadway show). Well, he peed everywhere. On a shrub, on a spot of grass, on every mailbox, on huge electrical boxes, and when he heard other dogs, his ears perked up and he got stiff again. He was marking his territory. It was actually really funny because how in the WORLD does a dog have that much pee stored up? Granted, he was doing little squirts, but it was impressive, nonetheless. So, how in the world, in my 24 hours a day broadway play brain, did I relate to little Toby.

Well, a few weeks ago, I was talking to a friend at Fido (this very hip, waifish, dark, loud-music, tattoo, dirty hair, trendy glasses, weird artsy people hang out coffee shop...if Clare Danes and Jared Leto came to a coffee shop in My So Called Life, they'd definitely be here). We actually couldn't handle the music level so we went outside (Let me interject and say that although I'm coming down on Fido, it's because of my own insecurity. They do, however, serve the most AMAZING muffins...my personal fave is the not-so-short-almond-shortbread muffin, which is basically cake and i mouthgasm every time i eat the first bite, and they also have great coffee). So my friend: I was talking about how frustrated I was with this somewhat stagnant place of life because I was very successful in middle school, high school and college in terms of music. I was known as a great musician. I mean, I was a REALLY big deal (that's a joke, because the previous statement sounded cocky, but that was sort of my identity, which was often quite harmful). So my friend said, "Yeah, I remember you had a lot of accolades." And that conversation came back up into my head on my walk with Toby. Then I thought, "We all love to pee on our territory. Maybe not pee but at least "mark" it." And then I had this picture of me being a singer dog and peeing all over my middle school, all over my high school, all over the arts school that I went to, and all over my college. And then I graduated from college. And I got scared. I just held it in and my bladder started to really hurt but I held it in because I just didn't believe that my urine was good enough, I just kind of stopped believing in it slowly but surely, something creative inside of me was shriveling up and giving up. But I felt the reprocussions of it and got sick. So, I sold out to a few organizations, lost my voice, and moved to Minnesota to start over anew. But it got worse and I wasn't happy and I was making those who loved me miserable. So I had to be alone where it all started, in New Orleans. In the chaos of that crazy and art-saturated city, underneath the care of my practical successful father and my wildly expressive and overly dramatic mother, I learned to pee again. Out of the Bible belt, I remembered and learned who God was. And He taught me that not everyone would like that I was marking my territory because they wouldn't believe in my urine, and that was OK. And that is why I'm in Nashville writing like a crazy mad-woman, and I'm getting ready to URINATE all over this town come spring!!! So that is how I'm like Toby. And I know I am weird and I love it and if you don't love it, then why have you read this far? I mean really. I would like to dedicate this blog to the confident and full-bladdered dogs of the world.